I’ll tout something I’ve read by offering facts and figures, but too often when people ask where I learned all that, I haven’t a clue and can’t find it again. If I were to keep track, the number of bookmarks would become burdensome. You know those headlines at the top of LinkedIn? They suck me in every day. Are you following anyone on Twitter? Such links send you to engaging websites, most providing good reading, but how many of us accurately remember where we went or can cite the source of what we read?

Just as I regret not recalling who wrote an article, I imagine that many of you reading this post will not remember me. (That’s okay, I completely understand!) Funny, I usually can’t even remember which machine I read an article on. Desktop? Laptop? Smartphone? It’s impossible to keep track and stay sane!

I’ve gained knowledge over the years from schools, books, seminars, webinars, colleagues/friends, and, yes, blogs and websites. Where I learned what, though, sure gets tough to trace over my 14-year-career as a graphic designer.

Interestingly, the sources I remember best are those found in books or physical newspapers I’ve read. There is something about print that stays with me. The why is not my area of expertise, but I believe that it’s because we cannot link to other places when reading hard copy. We stay with the writer, in the moment, and can’t bounce around at will. This helps our brain concentrate and furthers our retention. Print certainly sacrifices the potential reach of online, but the fact is, if I read it on paper, the source sticks better.

Just me, or do you feel the same? Chime in, please, market researchers in particular.

The Internet has connected us in so many ways. On it we discover amazing things, but with billions of websites linked, it’s growing tough if not impossible to reference information a second time. Today the Internet is so rich with content, so current, so fast that it becomes a disposable product. You read it once. You toss it.

It makes you wonder: Maybe we are not expected to remember.

Gary Epis
Bondepus Design

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“Uhhh, no thanks…bye.” Click.

What just happened? You morphed from someone who got help, resolved an issue and had a positive experience to an impatient person now thinking, “Oh god, please shut up and let me get off the phone.”

We’ve all been there. It’s not the rep’s fault. They are told to recite that bloated customer service script because doing so is company policy. Well, it shouldn’t be. Such mindless banter reflects poorly on your company and, especially, on your brand.

Here is why:

It’s not authentic—It’s too canned. Nobody believes it because nobody likes phony baloney.

It’s too fast—It’s so long and rambling that it’s uncomfortable for any listener to follow or respond to. Your rep, sensing discomfort, talks even faster just to get through it all.

It’s confusing—Just as the natural flow of the call reaches its ‘goodbye’ stage and it’s time to hang up, the senseless verbiage begins.

Parting impression—Leave your customers happy, satisfied and on a high note, not with a final impression of Buzz off, I’m done with you.

So why do Customer Service managers make their poor employees spew out this nonsense when the more often one repeats a lifeless line, the more canned it sounds. Sure, they want employees to be friendly and represent the company in a consistent fashion. Every brand should strive for that. Yet they should focus on hiring caring people who want to help, then letting them interact within a brand’s personality. Teach them what your brand represents and promises, what its traits are, then let them interact authentically and personably. A simple Thank you, if genuine, works wonders.

Candidly, cut the crap. Stop using these ridiculous closing scripts, painful for both parties to endure. Remember, the people calling are your customers. Honor them.

What do you think? Do these scripts enhance or inhibit the customer’s experience? What are some of your experiences?

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